Bling, Bling, It’s Divorce Time: MaMkhize and Sbu Mpisane Call It Quits!

Once upon a time in the glitzy world of Durban, where the bling is brighter than the sun and business deals sparkle like diamonds, two titans of industry, Shauwn ‘MaMkhize’ Mkhize and Sbu Mpisane, decided to take a leisurely stroll down the aisle, complete with a full 20-year layover. But lo and behold, after years of high drama, flashy lifestyles, and courtroom battles that could double as a reality show, they’ve finally called it quits! Yes, you heard it right: they’re officially divorced!

According to our friends over at ZiMoja, the grand finale of this saga was delivered via the Durban High Court in a judgment that echoed through the leafy suburb of La Lucia. In true dramatic fashion, MaMkhize filed for divorce back in 2018, but like a true reality TV plot twist, things just kept dragging on, leaving fans wondering who would win the ultimate prize: a lavish mansion, heaps of cash, or the last slice of pizza? (It’s safe to say the pizza was never contested.)

While the former couple has been living in separate wings of their mansion, you could say that they managed to turn “separation” into an elaborate business strategy. With one wing dedicated to “The King” Sbu—who, as it turns out, loves himself more than a dog loves belly rubs—and the other to “Queen” MaMkhize, who clearly didn’t have time for self-love with all those court cases, it’s a miracle that a reality show wasn’t born from their home life alone.

If you tuned into MaMkhize’s reality show “Kwa Mam’Khize,” you might have caught a glimpse of her reasoning behind the divorce, which was as pivotal as a season finale cliffhanger. “The small problem that led to my marriage ending was that Sbu loved himself. I also loved Sbu. So, no one cared for me,” she stated while probably looking fabulous in what we can only assume was an outfit that cost more than our monthly rent. Talk about a plot twist worthy of the finest soap operas!

As for Sbu, he took the high road (or perhaps it was just a well-manicured sidewalk) and told ZiMoja that the papers are “for public consumption.” With the elegance of a king reining on his throne, he confirmed that MaMkhize is the “author of the divorce.” Guess which way he was leaning in the battle for assets, huh? After 20 years of marital bliss (or court battles), the big question remains: how do you divide up decades of ridiculously glamorous living? Who gets the gold-plated toilet? The diamond-encrusted fitness equipment?

Meanwhile, it appears MaMkhize has perfected the classic “ignore the press” technique, showing utmost grace by letting her phone go to voicemail faster than you can say “R380 million Rands.” It’s almost like there’s a secret manual titled “How to Handle Your Divorce Like a Boss,” and they both wrote separate chapters.

So, as we sip our tea and watch this rollercoaster of a relationship come to a close, one thing is clear: love might be blind, but in this case, it’s also extremely complicated—and thanks to them, utterly entertaining! Here’s to new beginnings and shiny futures for MaMkhize and Sbu. May their separate journeys be as extravagant as their 20-year union!