Nwabisa Bushula not wanting to return her things to her former spouse.

Nwabisa Bushula not wanting to return her things to her former spouse.

 

Last week I covered a story about Mamazala and how lobola is a major problem and we should reconsider why it’s so important. You can find it among my articles on my profile.
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I basically went on to talk about how important it was that as a society we move on from it as a concept. The latest episode of Mamazala was a continuation of that conflict.

This week we met Nwabisa Bushula who had a problem with her former spouse/(husband?) not wanting to return her things to her. She alleged that she had been arranged into a marriage with him and trusted that because it was a Christian home with values. She agreed to the arrangement and they laid lobola to her family.

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This is when, according to her, things changed for the worst. He became abusive toward her and her child and after four miserable years she decided to leave him. However, she left her things at the house that she had worked really hard and was still paying for. Why can’t she get these things? Apparently she needs to pay back her lobola.

This is when things get a little bit dicey to me and I’m on Nwabisa’s side. She was brought into a violent situation and she was the only one employed during that time. She worked hard to buy that furniture. She was the breadwinner and still no one protected her from her “husband”.

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This is one of the reasons why lobola is nothing but a burden for women. The people who pay for you start to feel entitled to every part of you, like ownership. But that wasn’t the point of lobola. Lobola from my knowledge, was a gift or a token of appreciation to the womans family. Why is it then, that when people separate it becomes a commodity?

I can’t claim to know everything about the process but in my opinion, a man who hits or beats you, should NOT get to keep your things. He was openly intimidating with onlookers watching. What did he do behind closed doors? I can’t help but feel angry when gender based violence is overlooked. This is too common.

In the end, lawyers were consulted and we learned more about customary marriages work. I hope Nwabisa will find a proper resolution after the in-laws refused to speak with her.

What do you think of the latest episode?