Cedric Fourie, navigating fatherhood and its challenges
“Being a father is a special process, but it comes with challenges that manifest themselves in most men’s relationships.My belief is very simple: presence is key.”- said Cedric Fourie
One then needs to come up with ways to navigate that, something that is not always easy.This was the topic of discussion in the Amatyma movement’s conversation between the founder and businessman Thato ‘TT’ Mbha and actor Cedric Fourie.
“I was unemployed when my girlfriend fell pregnant. I was 26 years old and she was 25. I was shocked when I found out, then started to panic because I was job hunting. Although I’d always wanted to have children, I wasn’t ready at the time because there was instability in my life. I started to question what kind of father I was going to be, especially since my father wasn’t around when I was growing up. A few months into the pregnancy, I decided to embrace the fact that it was happening. I didn’t want my child to grow up feeling like he was a mistake or unwanted. I wanted him to feel loved from birth.”
The pair spoke about how Fourie navigated his journey to fatherhood.He said he believed it was important for parents to be present in their children’s lives.“The less present you are in my life, the more distant you become—emotionally, mentally, and physically.We have to spend time with our children because you want them to see the beauty and value that come from a family-oriented environment,” he said
Fourie, who grew up in Pimville, Soweto, said he didn’t grow up with much.Although his father died when he was young, Fourie shared that he did not have a memory of him. “I remember him, but he never traveled alone because of who he was in the township of Soweto.Of all my brothers, I’m the one who’s got memories of my father because I spent a bit of time with him,” he said
The father of one who is also a fitness fanatic stressed the importance of presence in one’s life because he never felt the presence of his dad much when he was young.“With me, I never got that because I grew up missing a father who died when I was young, and my mother had to pick up where he left off.A lot of us men are raised by single mothers, and it’s shocking when men put their children through that by not being part of their lives,” he said.
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To fathers who find themselves battling with how they raise their children, he said taking things as they come always works.A message he has for the present generation of fathers is for them to change the narrative and do better.
“You find a lot of men who become fathers when they’re not ready.They become good at their careers, but they are weak fathers simply because they are not present in their children’s lives.Our generation of fathers has access to things that our fathers didn’t have; we’ve got ideas, we’ve got businesses, and we live next door to white people, which was a dream to our fathers and their fathers,” he revealed
“To us, it’s a big deal because we own property, and as up-and-coming successful fathers, we want to set things right for those who are coming and say to them, This stereotype of black fathers being awol is for us to challenge and change’,” he said.
